Frigid Heart

Frigid Heart

I've never felt so alone in my entire life. (I'm sure you can tell by this line that this is going to be another pathetic entry, right?) I feel isolated, yet I don't know why? I've got so many supportive people around me.... yet my palpitating heart feels so empty. I was just at the library... alone... the silence mocks me further.

Everyone asks me if I'm fine and all... but those words seem worthless. It's not because their words of comfort are shallow or anything. They may be filled with sincerity and kindness the moment they left the speakers' mouths but when it reaches my heart, it's empty... It's like fetching water home from a source, with only your hands. By the time you reach home, there's nothing left in your palms.

I'm just too freaking sensitive.

It's just that I've opened up to alot more people this year. I bared my heart (flesh, blood and all) and like a Voodoo Doll, it gets pierced again and again by people. Don't get me wrong, it is not their fault! It's just that I've kept this organ of mine behind a shield, that once exposed, will be very vulnerable. I should have immunised it instead of protecting it. ( but I just want my heart to be embraced by... Compassion? Love? Empathy? they seem to be rather foreign to me that I myself am unsure.)

I'm so freaking weak and sensitive!

I feel all alone and still without its reason... sometimes I just wish that the right person... at the right time... at the right place... would do or say the right things... and even in the right way... and all will be so much better. People might call it a dream. but to me this dream is worth much more than my reality...

(a Reality I don't wish to be Real.)

I'll still try to learn to trust people more... and maybe one day, I can see the world in less cynical light. I'll continue to bare my Frigid Heart.

P.S. I wish to thank everyone who stayed with me even though I am a pathetic bastard. Thank You.