Seeing Yet Blind

Seeing Yet Blind

I was a Child...
Like many, Naive...
Innocent and Pure...
Monsters Haunted me...
Shadows Taunted me...
Yet I Believed...
In many things...
In Beauty...
Pain was only temporary...
Nothing More...
I may be Blind then...
I didn't See...

Now I am a Child No More...
More Knowing and Wise...
Corrupted and Tainted...
Monsters now Crawl all around me...
Shadows now Claw me...
I have no Faith now...
Not in anything...
Not in Beauty...
Pain is a Constant Companion...
It's More than enough...
I See now...
Yet I'm Blind...

Is The Seeing of Reality...

Truly Worth...

The Blindness To The Beauty...

Where has my Heart gone...

An Uneven Trade for the Real World...

Oh I...

I want to go Back to...

Believing in Everything...

And Knowing Nothing at all...

~Evanescence: Fields Of Innocence...

The Music Box

The Music Box

Inside...
Deep Inside...
Twisting Springs...
Coiling...
Constricting...
Contorting...
Spinning Discs...
Turning Cylinders...
Rotating...
Cogs and Gears Revolving...
Metallic teeth combing...
Scratching...
Clawing...

Utter Agony!!!

Inside!!!!

Utter Agony!!!

Yet the Sound produced is Beautiful...

Melodious...

Comforting...

Sweet...

All this is just a Facade!!! Like Duh!

When can the Faking end?
When can the Music be allowed to stop?
When will the Agony within cease?

Every time the Song is about to end...

Every time Bliss and Peace seem near...

Somebody has to Wind the Damned Thing...

Somebody has to Turn the Stupid Key...

And it starts all over again...

The Wiccan Silence

This goes to a friend of mine who has been suffering in silence for so long due to unrequited love:

The Wiccan Silence

In a strange frequency...
Your pain Screams to me...
Your mellow whispers...
Beg of me...
To do your biddings...
To comfort your wounds...
To satisfy your curiosity...
To guide you...

I'll gladly shed my Blood for your Miracles...

You own my heart...
I don't want it back...
Not yet at least...
Consume it if you want to...
It matters not...
That is the Nature of Love...

Unrequited...

I am obsessed...

Possessed...

The constant Mental Visitations of your Image...
It makes my optical waterfall scour my pathetic visage...

The thought of your Pain, and mine, Satanically beats my heart... Percussively...

Beating it...

Striking it...

Hammering it...

Crushing it...

Killing it...

Yet no audible comforting rhythm was produced...

Only the Ritualistic Painful Silence

I try to suppress all agony for your sake...
Yet it only makes me guilty of Fake Stigmata on my palms...
That Blood I offer you...

The Misery of Unreciprocated Affection
Burns me like the Devil's Inferno...
When Luna rules, I sink into Spasmodic Fits of Pain...
Like a possessed contortionist...

Yet I care not about my Wiccan Punishments...
I only care for the Gratification
Of this most Perfect Angel...
I'll even burn at the stake for the Reign of your Smile...

This Damned Creature is always at your service...
But do you hear what the voice of my pain says?
Of course you don't...
It's Silenced...

The White Rabbit Wishes

The White Rabbit Wishes

I wish I could be like the Cheshire Cat...

Smiling Endlessly...

Despite the Pain that's seen... that's felt...

I wish I could be like Tweedledee and Tweedledum...

Never Alone...

Always having a Companion near...

I wish I could be like the Caterpillar...

Opium Addicted...

Able to live in Solitude... Drowning Pain in Drugs...

I wish I could be like the Mad Hatter...

In Perpetual Teatime...

Never having to Care about things that Matter... that Hurt...

I wish I could be like the Queen of Hearts...

Ultimate Authority...

Always enforcing Personal Significance... Always Important...

I wish I could be like the Dormouse...

Insignificantly Small...

Thus able to stay Hidden and Protected in a Teapot... Never getting Hurt...

I wish I could be like the Gryphon and the Mock Turtle...

Freaky Pair...

Yet ultimately... able to Accept all Personal Imperfections...

I wish I could be like the Great Lady Alice...

Just Strong...

Able to find a way through Anything no matter what... Out of this Twisted, Painful Realm...

Yet I am Just A White Rabbit...

Living to Serve...

I am not what I am... yet I am hurting still... But I'll Survive...

Cardiac

Cardiac

How much Blood must a Heart Bleed before it heals...

How much Pain must pump through the Blood Vessels before

It's too much for the Heart to take...

When will my Heart cease to hurt...

When is that impending doom...

That silencing Cardiac Arrest...

All this Poisonous Blood coursing through me...
Yet I don't have the Heart to resent it...

Let It Beat

In hushed weeping...

Doors

Doors

We walk down the hallway of Doors...
Like dear little Alice...
And like her corridor...
Mine is filled with mostly closed Doors...
And I ain't got no freaking Key...

They say that God opens another Door when he slams one in your face...

What if it isn't true?

What if sometimes he misplaces the Key and so...

No Door!

And even if he does open another Door...

What if you don't want to enter it...

Because it isn't the same as the first Door...

What if you want to open a Door yourself!!!

Worse comes to worst...

I'll break down the Door that was slammed shut in my face

In the first place!

So this also goes to:

Lady Luck!

Old Providence!

Little Miss Serendipity!

Mister Destiny!

And of Course, The Classic Fate!

And to little Lucy...

Though I might not accept the Great Architect's Door...

I won't sell my soul to you to open another Portal...

I'll break down that Door...

Even if there's something better

Waiting in the other...

Willow

Willow

The Poor Soul sat sighing by a sycamore tree...

Sing all a Green Willow must be my garland...

Let nobody blame him...

His Scorn I Approve...

Sing
Willow,
Willow,
Willow...

Satine's Enlightenment

Satine's Enlightenment

Many around me seem to be cynical about Love...
I'm not here to tell them that the Pain doesn't exist...
Yet they must know that there is Joy in it too...

To those in mortal agony due to a wondrous malady called

Love....

These were Satine's wise words...

Before and(then) After she realised the

Painful Nature of Love:

(when she found love:)

If I should die this very moment...

I wouldn't fear..

For I've never known completeness...

Like being here...

Wrapped in the warmth of you...

Loving every breath of you...

Why live life from dream to dream...

And dread the day . . .

When Dreaming Ends...

(when she found pain:)

I was a fool to believe . . .

A fool to believe. . .

It all ends today. . .

Yes, it all ends today...

Today's the day...

When Dreaming Ends...

~Moulin Rouge!~

I Thank Thee

I Thank Thee

Oh! God!
Strike me Now!
Strike me Hard!
Hurt me with Pain that will last me all Eternity!
Let me hear those words that will tell me
That I am Damned...
That I am Cursed...
That I will always have a place in the kingdom you created for
Your Once Favourite...
Most Perfect...
Angel...

I Thank Thee, Lord!

For all this pain...

For preparing me for what lies ahead...

After Life...

After Death...

Hell...

I Thank Thee, Lord!
I Thank Thee, God!
I Thank Thee, My Creator!
I Thank Thee So!
I Thank Thee With All My Heart!
I Thank Thee!

~Your Most Imperfect Yet Humble Creation

The White Rabbit~

A Pointless Plea

A Pointless Plea

Oh! Deus Ex Machina where art thou?
Where the bloody heck is my Freaking Fairy Godmother?
There is no Puck to join Unions!
I wish I could buy a Pathetic Magical Sitar that only tells the Truth so it can guide my screwed up life with its Blatant Honesty!
I have no Time Turner to set things straight!
Notice that somehow... I didn't call for God...

I guess I have to follow one of the Commandments of the Cynic Creed:

"If You Want Something Done Right...

Do It Yourself!"

But wouldn't it be nice to get some assistance every now and then?
This is not only a Pathetic Pointless Plea...
It is also an advice...
But then again.. who am I to give advices?